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“That
love that knows no bounds…. I’ve never regretted giving into love…
Giving into love has always provided me with the most exciting
experiences I have known in my lifetime…”
-Elise
There is
something to be said for this thing called love. This thing that we
experience that turns our world upside down and causes us to do things
we never thought we were capable of. This thing that changes us inside
and out. Reframes our perspectives and causes us to see things in a
whole new light. This thing that inspires us to break our own rules. To
see things from another person’s point of view and to reach heights of
empathetic understandings that we have never reached before. To evolve
in ways we never could previously comprehend and to come to see
ourselves and others in a whole new way.
It’s the best gift ever. But for many reasons, we are deathly afraid
of it! Afraid of being vulnerable. Afraid of being rejected. Afraid of
loving and losing. Afraid for reasons we don’t even dig deep enough to
understand. The human race has given love all sorts of attachments and
definitions that just don’t belong.We have made love crazy, painful, dangerous, irrational, illogical, impractical and irresponsible. Love is actually the opposite. Love is the most logical thing one can do. But we often make the mistake of thinking that when you love someone, that love calls you to become their doormat at some point. Now, that is far from the truth. Let’s get it straight. At no point in time does love mean being a doormat or doing anything that does not serve you in order to put the best interests of another above your own. That is never my teaching and never the teaching of any spiritual teacher who knows what they are talking about.
There is never a time when
love will require you to take an action towards another, that is not
also a self-loving action. True love expressed towards another will
simultaneously be an act of love unto the self.
Otherwise, it is not love. It is something
else. Then, it becomes action rooted in pain, guilt, fear or obligation.
None of those things are love. We have attached many of these concepts
to love, but don’t get it twisted, love is love and nothing else. It’s
that simple. You have to examine the root cause of your intention in
order to know if you are acting in love. Love does not act out of
motivation to gain or for fear of losing, love simply acts out of
courage to follow the inspiration of love. Whatever that may be.
If I love you and I want to act out of love
for you, but I hold myself back in some way because I am afraid of you
knowing it. I am afraid of losing you or freaking you out, of being
vulnerable, or of the possibility of rejection, then, I am acting out of
fear. Not love. This is when love becomes difficult and uncomfortable.
When we screw with it, hide it, try to make it something else, try to
contain it, pace it, regulate it, and put it in a box with a pretty bow
for the sake of appearances.
We fuck with love all of the time… And then we say that love is the problem? Ha!
Most of us are cowards. Most of us see
weakness in love, instead of strength. Most of us see vulnerability as a
problem, an issue, as something that would be better to avoid. Only a
coward would come to this conclusion! Because it is an act of cowardice
to need validation from an outside source. From a source that is outside
of yourself, and that is what we are messing up this love thing with.
The need for others to react to us in a certain way or to view us in a
certain way. What would happen if you loved yourself enough to just be
yourself, whoever the fuck you are, not worrying about or needing any
outside validation? You would be authentic. You would have the courage
to follow your joy. You would be actually LIVING instead
of holding back on life and love. Ultimately, you would have a much
better chance overall, in achieving fulfillment, because the people who
are going to matter to you are going to love you for who you are and
they are going to have great appreciation for your courage to be
authentically you. This is something that is just not common enough
among humans in general. The ability to love one’s self enough to give
the self permission to just be who you are at your core. Permission to
live authentically. That is freedom. Freedom is love.
Love begins with the self. With self- realization and self love. Only
a person who truly loves themselves can demonstrate what it truly means
to love another. Love does not require you to do anything for another
person that is not good for you or that you do not want to do. This is
where the self love comes in. When we value ourselves, and give
ourselves permission to be ourselves, we will be able to understand that
we are not responsible for the way that another person feels about
themselves. This understanding is what allows you to make healthy
decisions for yourself. You are not responsible for the way that another
person feels or for their reaction to you. When you love yourself
enough, you will not be manipulated into staying with someone for the
wrong reasons or into doing something that you do not want to do and
calling it love. Love doesn’t do that. Here is what love does…
Love follows the path of most joy.
Love is authentic, and therefore…
Love is courageous, daring, honest, open and expressive.
Because love is authentic, love is freedom. Freedom is love.
Love does not know any other way but to be itself.
On a level that most people are not even
aware enough to ponder, there is an illusion. An illusion that we
readily accept as a truth. The illusion of rejection. That rejection is
a possibility. This is only an illusion, a perspective. I will tell you
why… Yes, a person outside of yourself could “reject” you or not accept
you as you authentically are. We have all had these experiences. But,
it’s an experience, it’s how you feel about it that matters. How you
feel about it or react to it is what shapes the experience for you. Have
you ever been “rejected” by someone you truly did not care about?
Someone you didn’t feel you needed even a microcosm of acceptance from?
How did that feel? Did it even feel like rejection? Did it feel like
anything at all? Did you even give it any thought? Probably not. We have
all had these experiences. Let’s get to the root of it. You can only be
rejected when you feel that you can be rejected. At some level, we put
more credence in certain other people than in ourselves. We hold the
opinions of certain other people as weighty and valuable and worthy. We
compare ourselves to others and when we find someone who we think is
“worthy” smart, cool or valuable, suddenly we feel like their acceptance
of us carries weight. As if their opinion has anything to do with our
level of value, worth, intelligence or coolness. At some level, at some
point, we hold the opinions of others, or their perspective about us as
more valuable than our own. This happens on small levels, it happens on
larger levels, it happens all the time and with everyone. There is
really no exception. It is part of the human condition. It’s something
that we battle with for all of our lives because it is part of the
fabrication of this thing we call ego. And, we all have ego. I may be
writing this article, but I see these things in myself. I exhibit them
as well. Even knowing all of this, I am still subject to all that is
part of the human condition. I am saying this because there is a very
important point to be made here….
Ownership comes before change.
I am pointing out my own vulnerabilities to
you so that you may do the same for yourself. There is no one who is
reading this who can proclaim exemption from the human condition. The
only difference in being aware is that you can see when the feelings
come up, what they are and what the true intentions are behind your
thoughts, words and actions. With awareness to all of that, there is
more leeway, more ability to deliberately choose which path you will
take in any given situation. When I feel the urge to do something and I
am aware enough to see if it arose from fear. I can stop, examine it and
make a new choice. This only comes with awareness, ownership and
self-love. We are all human, but we can shift from 3rd dimensional ways
of thinking and being and into 4th and 5th dimensional levels of
thinking and acting, on a moment to moment basis.
Love is really not so complicated. If you
eliminate the idea of love meaning that you can’t put yourself first and
love another at the same time, and if you eliminate the idea of needing
any type of validation, acceptance or reaction from another, then we
can begin to see love in perspective. For what it truly is. Love is
freedom. So, are you loving freely? Are you holding yourself back? Are
you acting out of fear? Or are you acting out of freedom and love? Are
you being totally authentic? Have you done the work to figure out what
that means? Fears, preconceived ideas and obligations aside…
Humans are reluctant to love. We are reluctant to give in and to
express ourselves from the core of our being. But to be authentic is
such a gift. Authentic expression is such a satisfying experience. It’s
one thing to have an experience and to keep it bottled up. It’s another
thing to be able to express yourself authentically and to know that you
are understood. To see eye to eye with another. It’s a great gift, one
of the best. But you can’t get there when you have reservations about
it. You can’t get there if you won’t allow yourself. You can’t get there
if you are ruled by fear. There are many people out there who are ruled
by far and don’t even know it. Let me clear something up for you… If
you don’t know what it’s like to love with all your heart; To love
fully, passionately and uncontrollably; To fall in love, then you are
ruled by fear. Something is holding you back, because everyone has the
capacity to love, you’ve just chosen not to go there. To slow the
process. To be extra cautious. Am I saying that it’s ok to throw caution
to the wind when it comes to love?
YES
Let me tell you why…
Love isn’t without reason. Love always has
great reason. If you love someone, there is a reason for it. To deny
yourself of experiencing that is to deny yourself. There
is always a lesson to be learned and that is what love is about. You
gotta learn to follow your heart. Let yourself. Allow yourself. Go with
it.
Follow your heart…
Don’t put love in a box. Sometimes, the
reason for loving someone isn’t what we think it is. It isn’t always so
that reunification can occur and we can be together with them in the
end. You have to remember this when it comes to your Twin Flame. It
isn’t always so that we can learn to mesh and be unconditional.
Unconditional doesn’t mean forever loving someone else, even to our own
detriment. There’s a balance happening here. Sometimes we learn
unconditional love, as far as learning to transcend a situation while
residing within it and sometimes we are learning unconditional love by
moving on. Transformation is continual. When the lesson is over, the
overtaking feeling of love will be gone too. Love will not stay for no
reason. So, the best way to move forward without wasting time and to get
through your lessons quickly is to give into the love that you feel
without holding back. With no reservations. Go into it.
That which you are drawn to and
interpret as a feeling of love, joy, passion, and excitement, these
things are all good for you because this is the way that the body
interprets things that are representative of you. Your core
essence. This is why following your heart is so key. You will be drawn
to that which is good for you in one way or another.
If you want to know the truth, dive in head
first. If you want to know how someone feels about you, let them know
who you are. Let them know your truth. There are only two possible
outcomes. Either that they will feel the same way and your relationship
will explode into deeper, more passionate, more blissful, harmonious
levels, or they won’t feel the same way that you do. There’s no black or
white. Anything can happen. maybe they will catch up with you. Maybe
you’ll have to deal with certain levels of rejection and try to overcome
that on smaller levels. Maybe you’ll have to deal with it on a larger
scale. maybe you won’t have to deal with it at all. One thing is for
sure. Once you learn the lesson, you move on from it and onto different
people, different circumstances and different lessons. So, get through
it. Don’t hold back, because you are just holding out on your lesson.
let yourself fall. Let yourself be authentic. Imagine two people coming
together who are authentically into each other, authentically in love
and authentically expressive about it. That’s what you want. You can’t
have that if you never get there, yourself. Give yourself some slack.
Give yourself some room to love. I love you so much. There is no end to
my love for you. I will keep believing in you, even when there is no
reason to, because I choose to see you through the eyes of love. I will
keep being honest with you, even when it may be difficult to do because I
honor you.
Honor yourself. Let yourself be who you are. Be who you are. You are love.
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